Sober is the new Drunk

no more whisky
no more brandy
no more rum
no more gin-tonics
kill the bastards
they're all scum
tonight we will stay sober
order diet-coke and such
and if you think that's boring
there are sausages and fudge


no more hair pulling on drunk saturday nights
no more ending up in orgies and in fights
from now on in the mornings
we'll remember where we've been
but trust me we'll me partying
like no one's ever seen


goddamnit we'll have so much fun
doing the twist until we see the sun
we'll be snogging just like you
but remember who we did it to, yeah!


no more puking over sheets that aren't yours
no more passing out on crowded disco floors
from now on we'll behalve
just like our mummies wish we would
but well be dancing weirder
that a drunk man ever could